I personally believe that the Lenten season, while of great religious significance, came to be even more significant as a social outlet over the last couple of centuries. On a religious level, you're supposed to consider Lent as a cleansing time before Easter, the most important holiday in the Christian calendar.

Don't think that I'm about to spout off a Catholic diatribe. I'm perfectly capable of doing so, but, Gentle Reader, if you're not Catholic already, it's not my business to convert you. Your paganism is not my problem.

My problem, as it has been for all Fashionable people for thirty-odd decades now, is that one needs a break in the social whirl, and Lent is there for you.

In the great cities of Europe, it is hot in the summertime. Once the great cities of the United States were established, heat became an even bigger problem. If you think it's hot on Hamburg's Reeperbahn, try Norfolk out for size. Thus, the great cities do not entertain in the summer, and the Social Season was born. As everyone knows, the Season runs from sometime in the late fall until the beginning of Lent. Lent means that, for ostensibly religious reasons, you can't really entertain on a serious scale for forty days. It's a nice breather. After a few months of drinking and dancing yourself silly, you need some down time.

After Easter, there's the Little Season, which lasts about six weeks until it gets stinkin' hot again and nobody wants to wear evening clothes.

Thus, there are a couple of breaks in the calendar--Lent, and the early Fall--when you can take time out and not have to worry about anything social.

This is the time of the spa resort.

Now, there are very few left in the States, though Europeans still love their spa cures. The most famous in the U.S. were Saratoga, which is a shadow of its former self, and the Virginia springs (the Hot and the White) which are like all good Southern traditions still steaming ahead at full speed whether they're stylish anymore or not. The White and its famous Greenbrier Hotel still cater to the First Society of Richmond, Baltimore and Philadelphia, and the remnants of the C&O will still get you there if you want to go.

Mind you, I would love to go to the Greenbrier, and stay in one of the cottages on "Baltimore Row" or "Richmond Row", but chances are that I couldn't even afford to stay in the main hotel itself, never mind one of these spartan cottages, reserved for those whose bloodlines make me look like a chimney sweep.

I prefer the somewhat homelier resort of Berkeley Springs. You see, I can do this with a measure of snootery and a measure of thrift. Berkeley was the first big spa resort in the American colonies and as such played host to all of Virginia and Maryland's old families. When I soak my fat little butt in Berkeley's waters, chances are that I'm soaking within a few feet of a spot where George Washington took the waters once and, because Berkeley has been out of fashion since the 1850s, it doesn't cost me very much either.

I'm quite fond of the old spa resorts and I've never quite figured out why they went out of fashion, since they're still quite popular in Europe. The hot mineral springs really do wonders for you. While I personally believe that their curative powers are great, that's up to conjecture. Perhaps it's mostly in the mind--but isn't that curative in itself?

The Viennese believe that one must take the waters right before the Social Season so that you can slim down, firm up and be otherwise in perfect shape to show off your new outfits during the Season. I think they have the right idea. Besides, what better vacation than a few days out in a country town soaking in hot water and being pampered?

Berkeley's lovely old Country Inn finally died last year but, thankfully, was quickly reborn and fitted out in the latest style. Its website is here: http://www.theinnandspa.com/

As I've long bemoaned the death of these pretty old resorts, I've been long heartbroken by the ruin of another famous spa, the Bedford Springs in Pennsylvania, which closed in 1993 and has been rotting for thirteen years. Guess what! It's been lately purchased and is in the process of reopening. They project a date sometime in 2007. I want to be one of the opening night guests. This will, of course, necessitate the purchase of some new "resort wear," but that's just another excuse to send off to Germany for new things. Now, all I have to do is find out who's running the place, and see if I can influence their music selections for the ballroom in the big old hotel. If I do my job, I'll be able to hear "Valencia" on opening night.