I love hot dogs. Really, I do. They’re delicious, cheap, and have no contents that even resemble natural food products. How can you go wrong? And does anything, except beer, taste better at a ball game or a Fourth of July picnic?

I was thinking about hot dogs–no, actually, I was desperately craving hot dogs–when I caught up with Lisa’s blog this morning. (I was in fact wondering if the hot dog guy had set up over by Wyman Park and if so, how many people would think I’d gone loopy for eating hot dogs at 9:30 in the morning.) Lisa quoted a Mets fan: “The easiest sports job in the world is to be a Yankee fan”.

I’d have to agree. You have a good team, and part of Yankee-fan territory is the God-given right to be a complete dick while maintaining whiny arrogance.

I’m inordinately fond of John Rocker for two reasons: a) he’s way hot and b) he’s dead on about New York.

Every time I’ve seen the Yankees play in Baltimore, their fans are jerks. Other teams’ fans indulge in good-natured ribbing when they visit. Which is normal and part of being a fan. The New Yorkers take everything personally and are insulted that they have to visit another city to watch their beloved team play. Why, doesn’t everyone know that New York is the capital of the world?

I know no such thing. About three weeks ago I was in a casual conversation–meaning I didn’t know the other people very well but we were trapped at a cocktail party and had to chat–when I ran into New Yorkism at full steam. Somehow, comparisons had arisen between that city and Paris. I pointed out that, for my part, I’d much rather visit Paris. The food is more to my taste and I could probably see a decent operetta. Immediately, two different people said “Oh, once you’ve seen both you’ll know. You’ll like New York better.”

What made these people think I’d never seen New York? Actually, I’ve seen Paris too and I’m fully equipped to declare preference, but why the assumption that everyone who’s seen New York is in love with it? I [heart with slash through it] NY. I [symbol for tolerate but bear no particular affection towards] NY. I do, however, [heart] Paris.

New York is a pleasant enough city; it’s certainly big and has lots of stuff to do. On the other hand, it’s far from beautiful; it has some beautiful buildings but it also has a lot of run down buildings and buildings that are and always have been just plain ugly. It has interesting bars, but they’re terribly expensive, and the whole place has all the gemutlichkeit of a toaster strudel.

Even so, I have nothing particularly against the city, in the same way that I have nothing against, say, Cleveland. It’s just sort of there.

I do have something against Yankee fans, though. Those people are just plain annoying. Then again, perhaps if Oriole fans interfered with play as much as Yankee fans do, we’d actually win a game once in a while.