Hurrah for the Maryland Free State! Generally, Maryland's government gets on my nerves. I have often proposed that we ditch "Fatti Maschi, Parole Femine" as our State motto and adopt "Oh, but..." instead. Every time I have any dealing with State government, I think I've paid the right fees and filled out the right papers only to encounter a miniature factotum who spouts off something along the lines of "Oh, but you need to fill out this form, take it to Office 17, and pay the processing fee." Office 17 then says "Oh, but first you have to file a form with Office 642 and pay the tax, and when you get your release, take it to Office 49." Office 642 then says....ad nauseam.

The Free State has finally done something that has my wholehearted approval, and in this case it really strikes home, too. Reference this article in The Sun:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/politics/bal-protests0322,0,1097123.story?coll=bal-local-headlines

Some time back, a young Marine from Carroll county was killed in action. The cretins of the Westboro Baptist Church (known more widely as the "God Hates Fags" set) turned up to demonstrate at this poor guy's funeral.

I am about to embark on the most vile, epithet and profanity-laden prose that has, or hopefully will ever, decorate this space. If you are easily offended, you may wish to disappear now.

I'm not sure what the deceased serviceman's beliefs were regarding Kansas Baptists, homosexuality, or much of anything, as I never met the gentleman. In this case, I don't much care. He was a man who died in the service of his country and, undoubtedly, was loved by his friends and family.

I cannot fathom anything more appalling and hurtful than attending the funeral of a family member or beloved friend only to discover a bunch of shitkicking, uneducated ASSWIPES from Buttfuckegypt, Kansas, spouting their hatred and idiocy. These people did not know Lance Cpl. Snyder. They didn't, and don't care about him or his family. They have an agenda, and it is an agenda of hate. Somewhere in their code of Christianity and righteousness--which bears no resemblance to the Christianity in which I was raised (yes, you sacks of shit, Catholics are Christian, and we were before you cocksnots ever got wind of the idea) it is acceptable to travel to a different state, to a community who has just lost a native son, to a family who has lost a treasured member, and hold up signs that say "Thank God for Dead Soldiers."

The invasion of a family's grief and mourning to further ANY agenda is inexcusable. Much as I loathe the actions of these people, if one of them croaks, I wouldn't dream of showing up with a sign that said "About Fuckin' Time." I'll thank God privately for offing one of them, but I wouldn't invade their mourning. The idea that they would add to the pain and confusion that this good Maryland family must feel is criminal beyond belief.

Here's the vile part. I'll leave this as an open message to the "Reverend" Phelps and his crew. If any person like this were to sully the funeral of one of my family, or a friend--whether that person is a coal miner from West Virginia, a Marine killed in battle, or simply some innocent whose passing they lit upon, I'm afraid that I would have to eschew my beliefs in propriety. I would, as a matter of fact, find a large blunt object and beat a couple of them senseless. I'd also, just to get my point across, kick their balls into an unrecognizable pulp, slit their hideous, sludge-spewing throats, take a shit down the blood-gushing hole and if I still had enough energy, piss on the severed head.

I am used to the fact that my religious, political and social beliefs don't match those of a large segment of the population. I "agree to disagree" with most of my friends. The fact that the Snyder family did NOT hack these cretins into pieces only bespeaks the family's own gentility and goodness. I am afraid that I have nowhere near the piety of that stricken family. I would be glad to help "remove" the Westboro monsters if they were to show up in this neck of the woods again, but I figure that added brouhaha would only increase the pain of grieving families. If they intrude on MINE, though, a couple of 'em will croak, and it won't be pretty. Oh, yes, I know that they'll only believe their murdered, beshitted member is martyred, but I'll have the satisfaction of dispatching that person, and I know what real martyrdom is. I'll pay some time in purgatory, but any of those syphilitic sores of humanity who die are already on the express train to Hell.

I am very happy that Maryland, which--not surprisingly, has a more level head than I--has decided to deal with such vermin in a legal fashion which succintly and (we hope) effectively tells demonic rabble not to fuck with us.

Thank you for your patience. We will now resume the regularly scheduled broadcast of politeness, elegance and dissertations upon correct usage of silverware.